Tuesday, June 22, 2010

War is hell. Pt 2

A few days later corpses lay strewn across the floor. Most of them, surprisingly, were cockroaches. I’d love to say that the insecticides we (as a household, personally I participated in none of this malarkey) laid down had been steadily eliminated the cockroach invaders, but my imagination knew better. The ants, quite similar to a swarm of bees slaughtering some no-named pointless character in one of those terrible made for TV Killer Bees movie, had ambushed the quarter sized cockroaches. Though certainly some of the ants perished in the attacks, the cockroaches had ultimately expired on the cold wooden landscape of the cold wooden floor. At least five of their upside down, thousand mile stare corpses littered the realm. The ant tally was incalculable.

The ants, a more civilized society, collected their dead for burial tributes and memorials. No doubt little baby ants were already hearing stories of how their valiant brethren fell bravely on the battlefield. Or they were being recycled in one of the many awful ant genetic experiment labs. One can never be too certain. Regardless, it appeared on the surface that no ants had been harmed in the battles. Not in any of the major assaults that is.

In the bathroom, home once to ant and spider peace accords, chaos reigned. Ants, caught up in spider webs and dust bunnies, lay crippled from 8 legged furies. It seems that the cockroaches, in a final move of desperation, had driven a wedge between the ant and spider alliance by offering up previously disputed lands to the cockroaches.

Clearly, I needed to look at the former cockroach holdings and analyze them for new and upcoming spider holdings. The ants as it were, remain strong in their dominance of kitchen counter and abandoned What-A-Burger wrappings spaces. But the cockroaches remain no more. All are gone now, except the lone sentry standing guard on the cockroach cache. I wish him the best in his journeys, for it will be long and arduous as long as the ants and the spiders wage war. For none are safe.

*And this entry? Total crap. But I have a head cold and felt like writing something. So fuck off.

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